WHAT HAS LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?

908012707200002525_340223225It has been a quite painful week, amidst the deep throaty laughter shared with my slightly crazy friends, the bubbling excitement over the resumption of a new and my penultimate semester in the faculty of law, university of Lagos, clasped in the palm of my mind had been the thought of what could have been.
How friendships could easily turn sour.
Myriads of emotions flowed through my blood filled veins, a staggering pain hammering its way towards the core of my all but stony heart. It wasn’t in the way he ignores me each time I try to say hi, not in the way he indirectly insults me on social media, not even the way he bad-mouths me to his friends within the confines of King Jaja Hostel mattered much to me.
It was the fact that this was a person I could say absolutely anything to, even the most ridiculous ‘gists’ manifestly laced with absurdities, I couldn’t watch a kissing scene without covering my eyes, but I could talk to him about Sex (something I couldn’t and still cannot discuss with any person on earth), the pains and glory without batting an eye-lash, with him I could just be me. And now as I stare from a safe distance searching for clues and subtleties about a man that had once held my heart spell bound, I see an alien; I feel a sense of loss, filled with so much anger, bitterness and self pride, he had become a person that I could no longer recognise.
I tried to run.
I would look at him with a longing I had never thought I could feel, later I would come to realise that he wasn’t interested. There was an ex in the picture that I never knew existed. I would accompany him everywhere as I never wanted to know the sorrow of departing from his glorious presence, yet still…
Nothing happened.
Secretly I would hopefully wish that we could together, bypass the formalities, damn the unknown and gracefully slide into some sort of fairy tailed intimacy. Often times, lines from a song by Colbie Caillat would cross my mind:
I don’t know boy, I think I may be falling for you, dropping so quickly…
I’ve been spending all my time just thinking about you, I don’t know what to do
A penny for my wishful thinking one would assume, but my thinking made me all the more penniless, if not even stuck in some form of abject emotional impoverishment.
I burned, I melted but I did it all alone.
And then love was damned.
It had all come down to the wellbeing of my sanity, feeling so small and stupid, I finally convinced myself that it was nothing but a lost cause.
After all, what has love got to do with it?
A second hand emotion or nah?
Good fortune would later bring me to the door step of a man who would love, cherish and respect me whether I felt the same way or not. Till today I still wake up at dawn to pinch myself and at the same time ask myself “Baby girl, it this for real! It’s been a roller coaster of brimming love I tell ya.
All those things about a guy calling you day and night to check on you isn’t too far-fetched, and trust me, it just never gets tiring NEVER!
Spoiler Alert!
The other guy, yeah he fell in love, did I mention that I was the “lucky girl” but by then, I was over it, done and dusted were the words stamped in bright tomato red over the ruins and ashes of what was but never could be. Let’s be friends we said, but that didn’t work out for long and at the end of the day it became a criminal case of an “Unrequited love”, a few fallouts and the end seemed near, it’s funny you’re the broken one when all along I was the one that needed saving.
CPR?
CARDIOPULMONARY RESUSCITATION
You know all those things lifeguards do at the beach to resuscitate a lad who almost got drowned? Yeah I tried that but someone’s larger than life ego got in the way. Trying not to go all Taylor swift on you but the question still remains:
What has love really got to do with it?
I do not blame him for not knowing the gentleness of my soul
When I only showed him how violently I loved
I remain loyal man but;
If people were rain you’d be a drizzle and I a hurricane, your love came a little too late, and what is that proverb about an opportunity lost? Well, you get the drift.

THE CONFESSIONS OF A DIE-HARD FANTASIST

I had been thinking about him too much these days. I kept turning and tossing on the bed, the thought of him prevented me from sleeping. I picked up my phone and turned on the data, went straight to his twitter handle like I’ve been doing for the past 3 days, his last tweet was 5 hours ago. I stared into the empty space, it seemed like I had seen a vision but I could see nothing but him. My imagination had begin to run wild again, the more I thought of him, the more unsteady my heart beat got. I felt hot from within. I could not think of anything else but his smile, his lips, his eyes, and the way he takes his hands to his face when he’s talking to me.
Heaven knows that I’ve never been more attracted to a man the way I am attracted to him at this moment. I really thought I had passed this phase after high school, the phase of raging emotions, hormonal insurgence and unrealistic fantasies.
The only thing I think about when I wake up is to be in his arms, to be wherever he is; I can’t even concentrate on anything.
I’m thrown into an abyss of endless wonder of how the touch of his hands would feel like, how would his lips taste? Would he be gentle or rough?lust
Oh lord! My mind is wandering too far. This is just the height; I might as well just have lost my sanity.
I closed my eyes to say a quick prayer to God;
Father, Chi is driving me crazy, I think of him all the time, every hour, minute and second of the day. What I think about is not in the least way holy or pure. I want him so badly and I’m afraid of the intensity of the emotions that I’m feeling. Help me to understand father, this cannot be what you want for me, I can’t deal with this on my own.
Almost instantly, I felt relieved, like a heavy burden had been taken off of me. There were just three words spoken:
“PEACE BE STILL”
“MY STRENGTH IS PERFECTED IN YOUR WEAKNESS”
There was no reproach, no scolding just a calm and resonate voice asking me to rely on God’s strength.
I guess God knows what we’re going through, and he sure doesn’t blame us for the way we feel, after all he is our father and he created us. His thoughts towards us are thoughts of good and not of evil (Jeremiah 29:11)
And when we feel helpless and incapable to carry out God’s will, he calls us to come to him, to give him our burdens in exchange for rest. (Matthew 11:28)
The truth; Chi still drives me crazy, but I’ve lost the pressure to do that which is against God’s word. My heart still skips a beat when I chat with him but I no longer feel the urge to be the seductive temptress nor play the role of a victimized damsel-in-distress, who awaits her knight’s kisses and touch to awaken her.
I am reminded each day to wait on the lord and be of good courage for he will strengthen my heart (Psalm 27:14)
I realise that even as a Christian, it is absolutely normal to feel this way about a gorgeous man and I am not ashamed to say it out, I’d rather declare my weakness and rely on God’s strength than pretend to have the ability of handling it all on my own.
A choice is being presented to us, to pick between the physical and spiritual. It is a never ending war between the spirit and the flesh (Galatians 5:17 NLT)
I choose to present my body as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable unto God. What of you? (Romans 12:1)Romans 12.2

TO SADIQ ABACHA — ON BEHALF OF WOLE SOYINKA | BY AYO SOGUNRO

My Goodness! What a piece 🙂

Ayo Sogunro

Dear Sadiq Abacha,

I do not know you personally, but I admire your filial bravery—however misguided—in defending the honour of your father, the late General Sani Abacha. This in itself is not a problem; it is an obligation—in this cultural construct of ours—for children to rise to the defence of their parents, no matter what infamy or perfidy the said parent might have dabbled in.

The problem I have with your letter, however, arises from two issues: (i) your disparaging of Wole Soyinka, who—despite your referral to an anecdotal opinion that calls him as “a common writer”—is a great father figure, and a source of inspiration, to a fair number of us young Nigerians; and (ii) your attempt to revise Nigerian history and substitute our national experience with your personal opinions.

Therefore, it is necessary that we who are either Wole Soyinka’s “socio-political” children, or who are ordinary Nigerians…

View original post 1,336 more words

GRACE, FORGIVENESS, HOPE, MERCY AND HEALING

Jeremiah 33:2-3 NKJV
“Thus says the Lord who made it, the Lord who formed it to establish it, (the Lord is His name),
Call to me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you
Do not know”

• GRACE

It was exactly twenty years ago, she had been sitting on the bed, crying and asking for her mama, she was just seven months old, all she could see were men in black uniforms holding handcuffs, speaking in harsh tones to a man that resembled her papa, she was too young to understand what was happening, her papa had been falsely accused of fraud, he will be going to a place called kirikiri tomorrow, he will be asked to stand in a house, in front of a black man wearing a black gown and a white cap, the men in black asked papa to follow them, papa started to cry, he said he was innocent, the men in black refused to listen, they slapped papa and hit papa on the head with a stick, they called papa ‘ole jatijati’, I started to cry, why are they beating my papa, what did he do? My papa will never hurt anyone, I cried louder and I wouldn’t stop. Then one of them looked at me, the others called him ‘Oga’, he spoke to papa in Yoruba, ‘is that your child’? He asked, papa nodded, his mouth swollen from all the slaps he had received. Where is her mother? She has gone to look for food; we haven’t eaten for two days now papa replied. The man looked at me with sadness, he gave papa 100 naira, he told papa to buy me something to eat and that papa should come to the station tomorrow with land papers and a guarantor.
Papa called his lawyer, they said the case is going to hold next week, 16th march 1995, I have not seen my papa in many weeks, mama says papa is in a house where they keep stubborn people, mama says papa is in kirikiri, I don’t know where kirikiri is. Mama is crying, mama is praying, she says papa is innocent, she says God will Judge. I haven’t seen sister, mama says there is no food in the house, sister is with grandma and grandpa, sister does not know that papa is in kirikiri. Nepa has taken the light, mama has gone to borrow candle and matches, mama said there is no food this night, and mama says we will drink Lipton and sleep.
Tomorrow is March 16th, papa will come home, I will see papa. Mama is watching the television, one woman is reading a paper, and mama says it is called news. The woman says one Barrister Gbajabiamila slept and did not wake up. Mama is crying, she says the man is papa’s lawyer. I don’t know why mama is crying.
Mama puts me on her back, she says we are going to a place, the place is called court, she said I will see papa. Papa has been in kirikiri for 5 months, mama says God will judge.
I see papa! Papa looks sad, he has marks on his face, papa’s hands and legs are tied. The men in black are pushing papa, they are saying ‘ojo iku e ti de’ (the day of your death has come) papa looks at mama, papa is crying, why is papa crying?
The man in black gown and white cap enters, everybody is standing, he sits down, everybody is sitting. He calls papa, they put papa in a cage. They say papa should put his hand on a book and swear, they ask papa if he is guilty, papa says he is innocent. The man in black gown asked for papa’s lawyer, papa said his lawyer died this morning. The man in black gown is talking to some men in black gowns, the man is asking questions, mama is crying, papa is praying, papa says he is innocent, papa says God is the judge. The man in black gown says ‘Discharge and acquitted’. Mama is jumping, papa is crying, mama says God is the judge. Mama is singing ‘ God na elele, God na waya o, nobody be like am, nobody dey like am, ewo wan nne God na elele’ the man in black gown says papa can go, everyone is clapping, papa is not crying again, papa says God is good. I don’t know who God is, but he saved papa, God is a good man.

A year later:

Mama’s tummy is big, papa says mama is pregnant, I don’t know what pregnant means, papa says mama is carrying a baby that looks like me. Somebody is knocking the door, one man comes in, he gives papa a white paper and he walks away. Papa reads the paper, papa is crying, papa says he has a job, mama is dancing with her big belly, papa says they are paying him #20,000 naira per month, mama says we won’t go hungry again. Papa and mama are praying to God again, they said God is good, they say his grace is sufficient. I don’t know what grace means.

A PERSONAL TRIBUTE(ROLIHLAHLA MANDELA)

And so Madiba is gone. He’s done the best he could and he’s finally at peace. We all knew this day would come, we just didn’t expect it to be now. Tributes are going up everywhere around the world, flags are being flown at half-mast, the world literally is standing agog for this one man who has inspired millions of people across the globe. Being a ‘90s born, I do not know so much about his deeds apart from the things I’ve read about him which are in no way meagre. I bet there is lesson to learn from Madiba’s life, he stood for everything right and befitting. Indeed, it was a long walk to freedom. From his war against the apartheid system, to his incarceration, his ardent belief that every African child needed to be educated, and have access to adequate health care, his fiery passion to see every African free from abject poverty and squalor; dehumanization; disenfranchisement; and injustice of any sort to finally becoming the first democratically elected president of South Africa. Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela has proved to me and the entire world that one man can start a revolutionary change which can affect the lives of individuals in a positive way. The burden now falls on us to continue with this change. It is time for the next Generation to continue the struggle against social injustice, the future of humanity lies nowhere else but in our hands. From you I’ve learned to be myself, to use my every God given talent for the better good of humankind, to love those who love me and those who hate me as well, to forgive and let go of the hurt, to give until nothing else can be given. I will be among the millions who will keep your legacy living in my heart, believing that together we have the power to change the course of destiny, trying each and every single day to make Africa a better place. Thank you Madiba for being you, Rest In Peace!

                                                                                                                        Image   NELSON ROLIHLAHLA MANDELA

                                                                                                                                                      1918-2013

Soul Ties 8

Breaking Soul-Ties

In this episode, we are looking at why married men fall into the trap of cheating in marriage and how this can be averted by guarding our loins with the Word of God.

My contact details are  —> BB pin: 7C5BBD57   Twitter: @SoulTiesTweets http://www.twitter.com/soultiestweets

Please find below Flickr & iCloud links for the Soul Ties 8 Tweetcast

Flickr Link

http://www.flickr.com/photos/45776972@N07/sets/72157637459397154/

iCloud Link

https://www.icloud.com/photostream/#A65ON9t3fohM

Good evening y’all. #SoulTies 8 starts now. Hope you all had a great week so far.

1. I want to state that we are not here to condemn anyone or stigmatize anyone who has repeatedly fallen into sin due to #SoulTies

2. We are here to expose #SoulTies as the works of the enemy that the blood of Jesus has been shed to purge us from.

3. We are also not here to provide excuses and reasons for Christians to continue in sin due to a misunderstanding of…

View original post 3,252 more words

Image
“There is a desire within each of us,
in the deep center of ourselves
that we call our heart.
We were born with it,
it is never completely satisfied,
and it never dies.
We are often unaware of it,
but it is always awake.

It is the Human desire for Love.
Every person in this Earth yearns to love,
to be loved, to know love.
Our true identity, our reason for being
is to be found in this desire.

Love is the “why” of life,
why we are functioning at all.
I am convinced
it is the fundamental energy
of the human spirit.
the fuel on which we run,
the wellspring of our vitality.

And grace,
which is the flowing,
creative activity, of love itself,
is what makes all goodness possible.

Love should come first,
it should be the beginning of,
and the reason for everything.”
Gerald G. May